I am so restless lately but tired and lazy at the same time, it's not fun. I want (need) to do so many things before my surgery on Friday but when it comes down to it I don't actually want to do anything. Ever feel that way?
Part of me just wants to curl in a ball in cry. Another part of me want to clean the house, work on my quilt, send emails to team members and friends, etc etc etc...
So, instead of doing any of those things I end up wasting time online doing nothing and feeling bored and depressed. It's ridiculous. I hope you don't think I'm just whining... okay, I am just whining but I do have a point to make with this.
I participated in a fundraiser tonight. It was for a local 3 year old who has recently been diagnosed with cancer. She and her mom are currently in Texas seeking the best treatment available for her type of cancer. I was at this fundraiser back in Iowa selling books and donated 20% of the sales to help the family with medical bills.
The fundraiser was a huge eye-opener for me. I have so much to be grateful for but I hardly ever see those good things. I look at a tiny thing like gall bladder surgery and freak out. I feel bad for myself because I'm tired or stressed or because I can't figure out the perfect cake for my daughter's birthday. I don't often take the time to thank God for the blessings in my life.
Thank God my daughter is healthy, we have a roof over our heads, we are both employed. Thank God my parents are healthy and there to do so much for me even when I just need a comforting word. Thank God my fiance is not overseas fighting an impossible war. Thank God my friends who are overseas have been kept safe. Thank God for my friends who are always there for me and yes, I'll even thank Him when sometimes they aren't there for me. Thank God I am able to be there for people I love, able to kiss my daughter goodnight, able to attend that fundraiser tonight and give some of my blessings back to others. Thank God.
I'm sorry for this strange little post. I just felt like I needed to say something true, something I am feeling right now. I'm nervous about my upcoming surgery but I know that everything is going to be just fine. And I am grateful for every blessing in my life, big and small.